Clif ‘The Climber’ Chardonnay Case

by wootbot

Soapbox Climber

Ah, America! Sweet land of indulgence and comfort, where the cornucopia never says no and our waistlines stretch from sea to shining sea.

We’re not giving ourselves a pass here: our writers’ room is where high-fructose corn syrup goes to die. We put away more Zingers and Fritos than all of sub-Saharan Africa.

But maybe America could be something else. Maybe there’s still time to set our elephantine body politic panting and jiggling toward a new way of living. Clif Bar & Co. are part of the new, healthy wind blowing across the land of the flab and the home of type-2 diabetes, and they’re doing it from right here inside our borders.

Clif Family Winery’s The Climber Chardonnay is like Clif Bar or LUNA in Chardonnay form, except for the flavor. And the ingredients. And the nutritional value. What’s left? The sustainable, natural Clif ethic, that’s what.

Turns out the Clif ethic smells and tastes like tropical fruit and Granny Smith apples. Flavors of citrus, apple, and pear with a luscious finish bring your palette to a soft landing, like those giant pillows they put at the bottoms of mountains for you to land on when you fall off.

What? They don’t do that? And any idiot who’s ever been rock climbing would know that? OK, you got us. We’re part of the problem.

But Clif is part of the solution – a delicious part, as The Climber Chardonnay vividly illustrates. Maybe someday, our current news stories about the obesity epidemic will seem as quaint to future generations as the carnivorous-foot-fungus scare of the 1980s. And maybe someday, choking down half a box of Ho-Hos on your way to McDonald’s will seem downright un-American.

Just give us a warning first, OK?