A White-Collar Christmas Carol
Merry Christmas! But don't get cocky. The ghosts that plan to show you the error of your ways could just be a little late.
Well, hello there! You must be the second ghost! Nice to meet you, I'm Ebeneezer. Yes, I know, you thought I'd be some angry jerk, but you know what? A man doesn't get far in business being an angry jerk. And, as you know, I'm a very very very rich man. Care for a glass of wine?
You see, Mr. Ghost, a man like myself knows how to make a deal. That's why when your friend, the first ghost, said the rest of you would be visiting, I went out and got a two pack of Helios wine. You're drinking the Syrah, but I have a Cab for later. Good, isn't it?
Mr. Ghost, let's cut right to it: you and me, we can win a million dollars, tonight. Just teleport us to James Randi's living room, let him get dressed, and then go ahead and show me Tiny Terry or whomever. I'll even sweeten the pot: half of that million dollar prize will go to his family! Why not? You're about to earn me 500k in a night, what businessman WOULDN'T take that deal?
So finish your Helios, Mr. Ghost, and think it over. If you REALLY want to make me a better person, you have no choice BUT to help me get a little richer, right? Half a million, that could go a long way for those little moppets. The only thing standing in the way is you. And besides, if you say no, I've got one more shot before the night's over.
Never try to out-maneuver a businessman, Mr. Ghost. That's your lesson for the night. Let me know when you decide, I'll be over here, drinking the Cab.