Safety First, Wine Later
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRINK THIS WINE WHILE LYING DOWN.
The following is some very important safety information regarding the Blackford Napa Valley Cab Vertical:
1. Never attempt to drink this wine while lying down. You're likely to miss your mouth, and you'll get it all over your favorite pillow and that's just sad.
2. Never attempt to drink this wine while sitting atop an elephant. You need to keep your wits about you whenever sitting atop an elephant.
3. Always chew every bite 30 times before swallowing.
4. Wait 30 minutes before returning to the pool.
5. Enjoy the ripe raspberry jam aromas, vanilla and hint of tobacco, but do not attempt to smoke it.
6. Never feed a mountain goat after midnight EST.
7. If you see a saturated garnet color with purple edges in your glass, it's just the wine.
8. If you see the face of Andy Rooney in your glass, you've had too much wine.
9. Never feed a mountain goat after midnight EST.
10. We know we already said that last one, but it's like, SUPER important.