Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack

by wootbot

Upscaling

This Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack WILL hold ten of your favorite bottles. It'll also hold your least favorite bottles, but why should you care about THEM?

An Open Letter To My Least Favorite Wines:

Gentlebottles, we've had our differences over the years. But we've always treated each other with respect, if not love. Do you remember the time, 1994 Merlot That Tasted Like Cork, that I didn't pour you out immediately? No, I might have been young, but I said "I will treat this wine with respect!" and finished that bottle! Because I was determined to give you every chance, even if you fought me every step of the way!

But today, gentlebottles, we move into a new world. A world where there's no room for you. Because, you see, today I have a Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack. That means there's a place for ten of my most favorite wines. My red, my other red, that dessert wine my Mom gave me for Christmas, that white I don't have room for in my fridge, the other other red, and a few players to be named later, plus my mail until I get one of those mail baskets. What there ISN'T room for are bottles I have no plans to drink. And that's you, 2010 Fortified Wine My Cousin Bought At The Gas Station As A Joke. Yes, I might have kept you around for two years, but that doesn't mean we're friends.

Nothing personal, you're a lovely shade of orange-green and I'm sure you'll find the right one someday. It just won't be my Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack.

So one last toast, then? To our past! And my future! Huzzah! There, that's done. Now, I want you all in a recycle bin by morning, okay? My new Bamboo 10-Bottle Wine Rack has no time for you lowlifes. Now, I'm all about CLASS.

Yours sincerely,

Your Former Roommate