Toffee Market Has Gone To The Dogs (TMM News Feed)
TMM Photo of candidate and Supporters
On the lighter side tonight, celebrities mingled this evening with locals at a modest residence to support "Roxy For President," sponsored by Brandini Artisan Toffee. Roxy, an 11 year old "part-paycheck part-paper towel," made face time with international super models and high powered studio executives in a fund raiser to support her campaign for what will certainly be the most interesting race come this November.
"I was invited. IN. VI. TED. How often can I say that?" commented Emmanuel Lewis as he munched on the Brandini Toffee Toppers . "Where's the vanilla bean ice cream? This would be perfect sprinkled on that!" Unavailable for comment, Gary Coleman was seen nodding in agreement.
TMM News Man on the Town, The Masked Marvel, caught up with Lindsey Lohan at the gala. After waiting a half hour for her to emerge from the washroom, he asked her position on the issues.
TMM: Lindz - what's the scoop on this party? How're you feeling?
LL: These are my bits! MY BITS! You wanna see my bits? See? Take a picture...
Ms. Lohan then returned to the washroom to adjust a chocolate smear from her upper lip.
The lady of the night, however, was the candidate herself, Roxy. Dressed in a casual Duke Blue Devil collar with bling reported to cost her owner untold sums over the years, Roxy was more than happy to set herself apart from the other candidates.
Rox: It's about size, MM. i don't have to tell you - those Toppers and Bits are fine; delicious in their own right. Buttery and crunchy at the same time - much like my campaign. But the real story can be found in the largest pieces. They're freakin' HUGE. And talk about a multi-layered situation. Crunchy toffee slathered in the darkest richest chocolate is enough for my competitors. But the roasted almonds sprinkled evenly across each piece is what this campaign is really all about. The ROXY FOR PRESIDENT Monkeys, as they're affectionately known, are all over it.
TMM: Did you chew up the carpet over there?
Rox-a-ringa-ding-dong: Well - I'm just going to have to get back to ya on THAT one!
That's it from THIS campaign stop. Be it large appetites for change, snacking for a better tomorrow, or simply dusting over the issues, Roxy's campaign and this Brandini Toffee batch may not be around past November, but they're BOTH sure to give you those warm fuzzy feelings we crave again and again.