Wine.Woot : One Week, One Wine (SM)

And We Don’t Eat Tin Cans, Either

Hi, everybody. I’m a goat. And I’m here to plead for an end to the unkind and sometimes vicious stereotypes that you hold about my peop- uh, I mean, my fellow goats.

I just don’t see what we ever did to provoke this abuse. We chew our cud and pay our taxes like any other barnyard animal. But when you need some unholy beast to embody Satan, suddenly it’s our hooves trampling the souls of the damned. We goats certainly don’t have a barnyard monopoly on pungent aromatics, but you never hear somebody described as “stinking like a horse.” When some ballplayer drops a pop fly and costs his team the game, he’s the goat – despite the fact that no goat I know has ever dropped a pop fly. Even Latina pop sensation Shakira gets in on the goat-bashing, claiming self-deprecatingly that when she was a teenager, she had a voice like a goat.

That’s low. I happen to think our singing voices are just fine.

But I’m not here just to tell you that goats are better than you give us credit for. I’m here to show you. I ask you, could any animal responsible for the transcendent delights of this Cypress Grove Fresh Chevre 6-Pack possibly deserve such slurs? These 3” rounds of farm-fresh goat cheese are all the evidence you’ll ever need to change how you see your furry, bearded fellow Earthlings.

Surrender to the creamy tang of the Cypress Grove Natural Chevre. Let your tastebuds come to life with the spark of the Herbs de Provence in the Cypress Grove Herb Chevre, or the cracked pepper in the Pepper Chevre. Explore new pastures of flavor with the Dill Chevre. Twist your tongue with the diabolically named Chive Chevre – then let the sublime flavor twist it back. See, this is what goats are capable of when we’re treated right, the way Cypress Grove cheesemaker Mary Keehn knows how. Just turn us loose on that lush Humboldt grass (no, not that kind) and let the enzymes do the rest.

With the Cypress Grove Fresh Chevre 6-Pack as our ambassador, goats can look forward to a new era of tolerance and respect, where goats can take their rightful place in the brotherhood of mammals, a kingdom of mutual understanding that includes all God’s creatures.

Except sheep, of course. What a bunch of idiots.