I have become Carver, Destroyer of Gourds
I light a candle in each one for you, father.
Every Halloween, it’s the same. I wait for the black of night to fall. I make my way to the Old Hinklin pumpkin patch just outside of town. Once inside the fences, I look out over the field, admiring the crop.
It is then that I reveal the 8-piece Künstler Cutlery Knife Set by Connoisseur inside my bag. One by one, I remove each of the blades from the sturdy wooden display block, admiring their fine stainless steel and full-tang construction that not only offer me confidence, but comfort for the awful task at hand.
And then my dark work begins.
The pulp and the seeds scatter and splatter. The ease at which the flesh of each pumpkin separates under the edge of my steely friends causes a toothy grin to crawl across my face. And as I carve and slice my way through the madness, I think of my father, killed by that truck of pumpkins so many years ago. That horrible horn, the squishity-squish-squish of his awful murder under the rhines of the Orange Menace, they haunt me still. Only this yearly squash-icide can halt that horrid scene from playing in the theater of my mind night after night.
It ends when every last gourd in the field has felt my wrath. There, among the muck and the slime of the patch, I sit among the carved pumpkins, all glaring at me with the face of my dead father, tears streaming down my pulp-stained cheeks. I then gather my tools, whose Bakelite handles will make clean-up the easiest task of the night, and return home, satiated for another year.
Now, we are at the end of another October. The horrible yearning for pumpkiny death begins anew. I hope you can hear the screams of the Cucurbita, father, and that they please you as much as I.
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Features:
- Fully-forged stainless steel construction, durable and easy to clean Bakelite handles and straight blades for easy sharpening, these knives are sure to make quick work of all your kitchen challenges.
- The Künstler Cutlery Knife Set by Connoisseur is crafted from the finest materials and features full tang construction, forged stainless steel blades and triple riveted handles.
In the box:
- 1-13” French Chef’s Knife
- 1-13” Carving Knife
- 1-13” Bread Knife
- 1-8” Paring Knife
- 1-9” Fillet Knife
- 1-Boning Scissors
- 1-Blade Sharpener
- 1-Sturdy Wood Display Block
