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How to Enjoy Wine: A Woot Primer
1. Pour wine in a glass or tumbler or hollowed bread loaf.
2. Swirl the wine until you create a tiny maelstrom.
3. Swirl again.
4. Sniff the wine. Remember that old oenophile’s adage: You drink with your nose first.
5. Take a sip.
6. Anoint yourself by placing four drops on your kneecaps.
7. Ask your guests why they aren’t doing the same.
8. Ask your guests why they don’t want to participate in a simple ritual to appease GrapeThork the Wine God.
9. Ask your guests why they are leaving so suddenly.
10. Now that they’re gone, enjoy all the wine yourself.