There’s something happening in Apex Cellars. Something… terrrrrible.
...Terribly delicious, that is! What, you thought only scary things are in cellars? Hey, come on. That’s outdated Victorian thinking! Don’t go all Freud on us here! The truth is, cellars are where people hide cool stuff like knives and ghosts and illegal beer. Why, even the pyramids were just big cellars, and they were full of gold and kings! When you hear "cellar," don’t think about some repressed English fuddy-duddy trying to keep the world from having fun. Think about Apex Cellars. Think about the 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon and the 2010 Merlot. Think those are scary? Maybe if you’re some other wine company worrying about lost profits! But for most of us, this wine is a good memory waiting to happen. Just like a cellar.
It’s not a place to hide the bodies. It’s some extra space you can use for the things you really love. Your drum set, a ping-pong table, storage for your wine. A cellar isn’t for fear. It’s for love.
And also black widows.