Three Cheers for Ranch!
I'm not even kidding. I would seriously eat anything if you put ranch dressing on it. This glass bottle included.
Of all the kinds of ranches in this world, including the style of home and also this wine, I have to say that ranch dressing is my favorite. Sorry Healdsburg Ranches Zinfandel, but while you too are delicious, ranch dressing is so much more versatile.
While you have aromatic gobs (yes, really) of soft, rich wild raspberries, ranch dressing has gobs of buttermilk and also fat, which you can never ever go wrong with. You may be smoother and easier to drink than ranch dressing, but I'd still rather dip my carrot sticks (and pretzel sticks, and any food in stick form, come to think of it) in ranch dressing than in you. Nothing personal.
You've got a hint of white pepper, I'll give you that. But have you ever even tasted ranch dressing on pizza? Of course you haven't. You're a wine, not a person. But let me tell you, it's nothing short of heavenly. And you can't argue with Jesus.