Lock 'Em Away And Hide The Key
Like many other men I know, the moment I was told I was going to have Daughters in the house was the exact same moment I started to wonder about the use and maintenance of bear traps.I know, I know, double standards are horrible. But I was a young wine connoisseur once, man. I know what we're like when you hit a certain legal drinking age, and that's not the kind of person I want around my Daughters, no sir.
So call me overprotective, if you like. You just don't know what it's like having a Channing Daughters White Wine Mixed Pack around. You get anxious. Paranoid, even. Every wine drinker in the world become a predator just waiting for you to turn your back on your wine cellar to get at the lovely, alluring flavors and aromas of pears, white flowers, minerals, and spice of the 2010 Pinot Grigio 750ml 2-Pack.
And I won't just let anyone come over to spend time with my 2008 Mosaico 750ml 2-Pack, oh no. I've got to know that person, that person's parents, even their grandparents if they're around. I need to be able to get a sense that they respect and understand just how special their delicate apple and citrus flavors, dry palate, and light mineral finish are. I want my Daughters to be appreciated, not just guzzled down and thrown aside. That may be fine for some other guy's box wines, but not for MY Daughters, no way.
Now then, if you'll excuse me, I need to finish setting up the surveillance system and digging the cellar pit traps. You can never be too careful, you know.